When the days are getting shorter as they say, I feel pressed to turn inward. In reality it is just the sun shining its light on us for fewer hours, but the effect is the same. I drive to work in the dark and come home when it is dark. My hours spent outside are limited by crossing the street to get to my car. It is a repetitive cycle. At work, I’m running around and filling my head. It is hard not to become a machine and to prevent this it is necessary to take life in my hands. To think about what I’m doing and why I’m doing it. This can be a cause of distress though, because it forces me to think about the value of my own life.
It has been a while since I visited my Guru Maharaj. The association of devotees is very important to me. It rejuvenates me from the times I spent alone. Right now the lack of this is taking its toll to some extent. My body feels weak from all the sitting behind a desk. In the association of devotees there is no sitting. Service means to help out. And this feeling of purpose is what I need from time to time. It is nice to relieve a customer’s wallet. But it feels better to feed someone’s soul.
I call this my Vaisnava sabbath, the time spent alone meditating or in association with like-minded devotees. I don’t want one sabbath a week, I’ll take mine daily.

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